Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
