he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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