that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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