i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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