I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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