You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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