ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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