New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
