Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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