Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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