Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
