I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
