you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
