don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
