he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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