Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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