Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
