and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wish I only lived at night.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
