i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
