I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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