He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
