After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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