apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
