turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
