just tell him i said nine months
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
