Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
