we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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