So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
