You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
