Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
