The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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