sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
