he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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