Tell her she can't have a vagina
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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