Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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