Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
