I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
