I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I need moral support for this bender
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
