Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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