She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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