Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
