actually, I'm a sock model
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
