Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
