Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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