You work out of a Hotel?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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