no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
