know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
this will be a night to untag.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
