I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
we're chasing vodka with high fives
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
