Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
