he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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