Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize