it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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